What do you want?? Do tell

You tell me I'm cute

but what do you really want

You tell me to shut up

make up your mind



I want somthin real

Tell me you don't want my body.

You want me,

all of me,

just me,


I wanna hear that I have a beautiful

Soul,

Face,

Hair,

Anything but boobs or ass.


Tel me that you don't care that

I'm still innocent,

that im broken on the inside

hurt beyond repair,

and a bit selfish,



Please just tell me

you'll hold me,

when im scared.

when I'm lost,

when I'm not all there.

Pomise me you'll stay.

Aways.



Can you do that,

stay mine?

Cause I've put you to the test

told you,

I dont care.

I lied.

I do care,

more than know.



Just prove,

my thoughts wrong

That when I'm not pleasing you,

you won't turn,

away from me,

away from the shame,

the hurt.



I wanna believe you.

I do.

It may seem like you know me,

That I'll just tell you,

all there is to me.

But no,

yu've just begun to,

dismantel the wall.



It's a hard chore.

Yea it will be worth it.

But can you stick it out?

Be strong

faithfull

encouraging

Dont lie to me.



Just tell me

Is this what you want?

Broken...

I wanted you to know

that i love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high, steal your pain away

I keep your photograph and

i know it serves me well

I wanna hold your hand, steal your pain away

cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And i don't feel right when your gone away....

You've gone away

You dont feel me here anymore...

The worst is over now

And we can breathe agian

I wanna hold your high, steal my pain away

Theres so much left to learn

And no one left to fight

I wanna hold your high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I'm strong enough

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And i dont feel right when your gone away

Take It or Leave It

I live life knowing that things and people change within seconds
so i live my life the way i want to, wether its the right way,

or the wrong way I dont care.I still live it.

its my life, and I deal with the mistakes.

So i'll take...

a shot to kill the pain.

a pill to drain the shame.
a purge to stop the gain.

a cut to break the vain.

a smoke to ease the crave.

a drink to win the game.

an addictions an addiction

cause it always hurts the same....

About me..I guess

I've been to hell and back

I spill shit, trip and embarass myself

I can't just flutter my lashes and get what I want

I've got it hard, my life is messed up.

I've messed up

I've been through more shit than you've seen on T.V

Nobody's perfect

I've been lied to, cheated on, and had my heart stolen && broken

I've fucked up, Fucked people up, and been fuck up

But every hit was worth it, cause i felt it

i knew it was real

life is real, and i'm living it wrong everyday

I'm fucking up royaly, and doing everthing opposite

but do i regret one thing??

NEVER!

Because at one point what i did was what i wanted

I got my fucking satisfaction

My life is mine

and no stupid bitch or immature person can fuck it up anymore

im the real deal

Silken lies

Ther comes a point in our lives,

where the person we love,

tells us bare faced lies.

to keep things hidden

and us by their side.

As time goes by,

we start to see throught those lies.

Especially when we start to cry inside

we no longer start to feel like standing by their side

It those colorful lies that help us see

where their heart truely lies inside

with you ..... or in somthing else

They always said they'd be there

that they'd care

but that turn out to be

the first lie

inside our hearts, we start to cry

and die a little more inside

each day they tell another

lie

Inside i knew we could have been

it was a greet time,

those moments

now memories

I knew thats how it was planned to be

but somwhere along they forgot

our song

those silken lies have become so slick

it makes me sick to hear them

Myself esteeme has kept me strong

to survive

to read between the lines

of mulitudeness lies

No longer will I cry
for the past I have cast aside

as I rise above

the silken lies

Before another lie

makes me cry inside agian

i will smile

and see the light

xxx (:Music:) xxx

i luv music... it is my life .. .so i thought that i'd just post bout it... so here you go music

music is truth
whether it is beautiful or sad
she will never lie to me
her words are innocent and pure

music is always there
in hard moments
and in joyess moments
she will never leave me

music is the party in my head
the beat of my heart
the grace of my motion
I may be ephermal but she is not

Music is accepting
she sings to all
she does not judge
she sets the bar ...
and sets it low

music is my love
my passion
my other half
and last breath

music is my voice
she says it all
she saves me when i am fallin
she is my angel

Music
you can find her anywhere
whether she is spoken
hummed
or whispered

Music is rock
screamo
rap
alternative

Music lifts me up
patches together all my broken peices
she steals my pain away
leaves me numb

Music is my inspiration
she reminds me who i am
renews my soul
and gives me hope
to live just 1 more day

Egytian Meth Hunny

I'm not really sure why they call it Egytian meth cause it isn't even meth... anyways it can be made with some very common household items. Here is a list of the items along with the instructions on how to make these things. I'm not sure if you can just use the hallucigen by itself or not ... or if you have to come down before its just part of the instrustions I got

20 easy steps to Egytian meth ( part 1)

1. Get a bag of fresh step kitty litter.
2. Seperate all the little blue things out
3. Hydrogine proxide
4. Put the hydrogine poroxide in a 2 liter bottle
5. Iodine
6. Add 25 drops to the 2 litter bottle
7. Insert a plastic sergical tube
8. Place the blue things in it but dont let them go down yet
9. Place a balloon on the end of the tube
10. Let blue thingys fall into mixture
11. They should react and cause the balloon to inflate
12. Put a gallon of distilled water into a bucket
13. Add 3 cups of Epsom salts
14. Add ice
15. Take the end of the tube out of the 2 litter bottle
16. DO NOT RELEASE THE GAS!!!
17. Put the open end of tube in water mixter
18. let the gas in the tube flow out into water mixture
19. when it's done pour water mixture through a coffee filter
20. let it dry && snort it(: haha

12 easy steps to Hillbilly Qualudes (comin down) (part 2)

1. A bottle of vitamin C tablets all smashed up
2. A gallon of white vinegar
3. Boil vinegar
4. Add crushed vitamin C
5. Add a box of baking soda to nutralize acid (should bubble)
6. Cook on George foreman grill for 40 min
7. Scrape burnt parts into a jar
8. Add a bottle of magnesium citrate
9. Shake well
10. Pour through a britta filter
11. Add a shot of pepto - bismol ( to avoid vomitting)
12. Drink

10 easy steps for the Hallucigen (part 3)

1. 5 little bottles of hand sanitizer into empty bowl
2. Freeze over night
3. Scrape top top layer next day
4. Scrape of the top of matches onto a plate ( until there is a small pile)
5. Put match top stuff into a jar of distilled water
6. Shake
7. blend in a blender the water mixture and sanitizer
8. pour into glass bowl
9. set the mixture on fire
10. inhale heat vapor