Just another day 3/26

ugh.. yesterday we did like a big work out in P.E ( body shaping is what I'm taking) and now my abs hurt like really bad. A lot of people were absent today because it was a half day... Miranda wasn't there so i just hung out with Melissa and Elizabeth ( what a whore) during P.E.. hahaha.. normally I don't work out with them because i have my own group with Mackenzie and Sam, but one of Mackenzie's friends Kayla, her group was all skipping so she joined ours so our group had 4 instead o 3 .. so i just joined Melissa because they only had 2 people. Mackenzie kept calling me back, :0 haha.. today we only had periods 1,2 and 3 and we went home at 10:30. Then i went to my other friend Melissa Brotten's house. She has a lotta kewl people on her bus, even though it is completely empty, where as my bus is completely full. Melissa would never know though hahaha cause she was busy with David. He definitely doesn't like me, i think he's just jealous that Melissa spends so much time with her friends. He wouldn't let her sit on the outside so she could be closer to me.. hahaha whatever. They love each other, its actually really sweet. Katie didn't come to school yesterday.. I was a lil' frustrated at first because she was supposed to bring me a black dress. So all i wore to school was a pair of black leggings and a very low black shirt and a little striped sweater with a pair of grey wedges... so all in all i looked like a whore.o well .. everyone said i looked cute .. haha but it was so hard walking up the hill to Melissa's house. it is half a mile and i had a blister an my right foot. : (... o well it was fun .. we had macaroni and cheese, made brownies and ate all of it except the edges, watched music videos, talked, and rode her horses. haha I rode Mandy english and Melissa rode Cali western. it was fun. the only thing is though is that Mandy bit me in the butt! it rained on us a lil' so we decided to go in but when we got in it stopped raining.. of course

New Hair??

Ok so i wanna get my hair cut and colored, but im not sure if my mom will let me. hmm.... she might go for the cut but im no so sure bout the color.i really like a lot of scene hair, but im not sure if im ready to take that step yet. hahaha cause once its done im gonna start getting judged by it and im not sure if i want that. i mean i definatly feel that way inside a lot, not all the time but. i just like hiding it more than showing it.i think i might start by getting that cut and the extensions and then dying it black. then a lil' later i'll get the coontails and color. i know I like it but what do you think ??? Please comment.

It Really Is Me

They tell me I've changed but I'm still me
Can't you see
I've just put up walls
So you have to go through long halls
To get me
Because I'm so scared
That nobody cares
So I'm Sorry I'm different
And I'm a lil' resistant
I just need more time
To be fine
To learn to trust again
To do what I must
To get back to where I used to be
Just wait and see
I'll be fine
Just gotta find what I lack
Then I'll be back
A better me
But first some dirt
And I know there will be some hurt
You might think I've died
Dont worry I'll come out the otherside
Then you will see
It really is me

Victum of Rape

It’s early yet, the month is one
You can’t see me I’ve just begun.
I’m so small I don’t have to hide,
I’m just a little seed inside.

Four weeks later the month is two
I’m so small but still a part of you.
Mommy you’ll love me, wait and see.
You will be so proud of me.

Time is passing the month is three.
Now anybody is able to see me.
I’ve got black hair my eyes are brown
Mom, your gonna love having me around

It’s getting late the month is five,
Mom didn’t want me so I’m no longer alive
Abortion is the name they give it

It takes your life before you live it
I want to be born the month is six
It’s already been done it can’t be fixed
I guess mommy didn’t want me because she threw me away
She’ll never forget me. I’m in her mind to stay

I’ve got a new home the month is seven
God has welcomed me back to heaven
You would have loved me but now I’m gone
Now only my memory carries on

If I was around the month would be eight
I know mommy would have loved me but now it’s too late.

Goodbye mommy the month is nine
If I would have been born things would have been fine
Even though I’m in heaven I still cry
O mommy, why did you make me die?

A Poem from a Tweeker

Hello new friend, my name is DEATH,
some still call me Crystal Meth.
I’m easy to find, and a breeze to make,
just ask around, I make you feel great.
Try me for free, I can afford one hit,
I know if you do, I am hard to quit.
Forget those who love you, I am all you will need,
take my hand, to your death I will lead.
I have no conscience, grief is my soul,
I will not leave you, until your body is cold.
You will meet new people, I am social you see,
I’ll teach you to lie, steal, and cheat.
Your new group of friends, they know me well,
and if we get caught, they will leave you in hell.
I am important, I am the best, I make some rich,
then I destroy the rest.
I’ll keep you awake, unable to work, I make mothers cry,
some call me a jerk.
If you have children, or someone you love, I can destroy them,
remember, I am Meth, the Death Drug.
Don’t look in the mirror, you won’t believe what you see,
the reflection looking back, some say it is me.
I’ll rot your teeth, I’ll destroy your gums,
but just remember, you are having fun.
One important thing, you may not even notice the change,
your mind will not function as it did before I came.
Once you are mine, and you have lost everything,
don’t curse my name, you came looking for me.
I’m very possesive, I’ll take your life,
and if you don’t believe me,
Keep doing ICE.
Now that you know me, and we are friends,
KNOW I AM DEATH, will you love me to the end?